hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
