maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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