If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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