They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
