the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
