you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
