Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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