do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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