i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
even my farts smell like vagina
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
why do cheetos always look like penises
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
