My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
