I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Houston, we have a blender
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
