Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Randomize
