Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
