We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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