Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
