I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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