just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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