I cockslap morals
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
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Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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