Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
