Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
