I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
