This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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