he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We are two peas in an std pod
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
there is glitter all over my balls
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