we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
