I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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