Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
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Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
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Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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