Michael Bay diarrhea
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I have fence marks all over my body
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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