Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize