i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
