I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
