Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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