Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases

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(702): if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases http://tfl.nu/a7z7

Replies (13) Good night (809) Bad night (2950)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".

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(403): I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby". http://tfl.nu/2blo

Replies (49) Good night (725) Bad night (3468)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.

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(201): if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter. http://tfl.nu/wtfv

Replies (27) Good night (5204) Bad night (1233)
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(850): View more from Florida

You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.

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(850): You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus. http://tfl.nu/vr5q

Replies (15) Good night (9942) Bad night (1166)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.

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(504): I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this. http://tfl.nu/j9b2

Replies (10) Good night (4077) Bad night (1161)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.

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(203): Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned. http://tfl.nu/8wo4

Replies (5) Good night (3284) Bad night (930)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen

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(732): I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen http://tfl.nu/5vux

Replies (25) Good night (2636) Bad night (11284)
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(360): View more from Washington

I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized

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(360): I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized http://tfl.nu/nze6

Replies (16) Good night (2237) Bad night (3426)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar

(1-336): View more from North Carolina

Blow your rape whistle

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(336): Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar (1-336): Blow your rape whistle http://tfl.nu/5qj3

Replies (22) Good night (3116) Bad night (1195)
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(734): View more from Michigan

It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.

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(734): It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth. http://tfl.nu/kgmn

Replies (24) Good night (4923) Bad night (837)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell

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(504): if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell http://tfl.nu/719j

Replies (3) Good night (1630) Bad night (783)
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(585): View more from New York

Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?

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(585): Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today? http://tfl.nu/z6wh

Replies (13) Good night (1412) Bad night (686)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.

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(337): he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy. http://tfl.nu/oyxi

Replies (5) Good night (1082) Bad night (455)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.

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(701): You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole. http://tfl.nu/p45w

Replies (6) Good night (794) Bad night (685)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that

(517): View more from Michigan

Speaking

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(734): Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that (517): Speaking http://tfl.nu/78dl

Replies (1) Good night (874) Bad night (380)

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