Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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