btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
