3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
