If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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