That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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