Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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