i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
