you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
