I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
