GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
