I think my fart just growled at me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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