I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
