Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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