hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
