and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Alive.
So much puke
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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