It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize