After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
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He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
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In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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