Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
how drunk are you?
Several
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize