if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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