My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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