it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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