She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
