I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
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you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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