that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
