I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
tell your sister to shave her snatch
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm like, not good at living.
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