This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
